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Monday, December 24, 2018

To Danielle

Hagar-->Mary, the companion of Jesus-->Danielle 
(1982-1987) (6th

Michael Joseph Cecil (Chapter 12, verse 1 of the Book of Daniel, Sura 2, verses 97-98 & 285 of the Quran, Column XVII of the Scroll of the War of the Sons of Light & Chapter 3, verse 12 of the Revelation of John)

In Too Deep:

All I Need Is A Miracle:

Before explaining some of the most important events that led up to our meeting in mid to late October, 1982, I think it is necessary to explain, first of all, how our relationship—as precious as it was to me; and as sacred as you are to me—was brutally and traumatically destroyed in 1987, after I received a memory of when I knew both you and Elizabeth in a previous life:

I saw Elizabeth for the first time in probably October or November, 1986, when, as you should recall, I worked the night shift as a Respiratory Therapist at Memorial Hospital in South Bend, and was waiting on 6 South across from the elevator on my way to the cafeteria at probably 0300 or 0330 one morning.

The doors opened and Elizabeth, a Registered Nurse, stepped out in her white uniform; she glanced at me very briefly, smiling at all those who were waiting; and then walked down the hall to where the Newborn Intensive Care Unit was at the time.

I immediately recognized that she had a light in her face and that she was beautiful; but I also instantly received the quite strong impression that ‘she recognizes you’; which, of course, I considered to be ludicrous and somewhat bizarre since this was the first time that I had ever seen her; and I was not at all sure that she had even seen me in the first place when she got off the elevator.

Now, typically, I was scheduled to work in either the Adult Intensive Care Unit, the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, or to do treatments on patients on the different floors of the hospital, or in the emergency room; so I did not see her again for, most likely, another three or four months; which, of course, was perfectly fine with me...

I was always quite nervous when working with babies (“airplane”/“superman” Trevor being the exception, as I demonstrated to you one day); probably due to the fact that, as you may recall, one of the babies for which I was responsible had ‘coded’ and died one morning at the change of shift due to NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis); significantly, in my understanding, because her nurse had simply disappeared from the unit for more than two hours that night; after which an attempt had then been made to shift some of that responsibility to me.

It was unsuccessful, of course, because I could explain in excruciating detail everything that I had done that night; including the several times that I had attempted to find the nurse and discuss the baby’s worsening condition; including a steady increase in the oxygen concentration because of consistently poor TCOM (TransCutaneous Oxygen Monitor) readings; and, then, her emergency transfer from the Continuing Care Unit to the Intensive Care Unit; at which time her nurse was nowhere to be found.

Some time later—the NICU, in the mean time, had been moved to the new wing from 6 South—I worked at the same time as Elizabeth over the space of a few days; and, from her discussions with some of the other nurses, I came to understand that she was interested in a number of subjects which I considered to be more or less bizarre: runes, Tarot cards...and ‘reincarnation’.

And it was probably another several days—there was, at that time, a television series on ABC called Out On A Limb with Shirley MacLaine—when Elizabeth and I were scrubbing in at the same time, and the subjects of Out On A Limb and ‘reincarnation’ came up.

I proceeded to explain to her that the problem with the doctrine of ‘reincarnation’ is that it rests upon the existence of a metaphysical ‘soul’—that is, just as you believe in a metaphysical ‘soul’ that will go to ‘heaven’ or ‘hell’ after you die, those who believe in ‘reincarnation’ believe that, instead, the metaphysical ‘soul’ goes from body to body—and that I much preferred the use of the term ‘rebirth’ rather than ‘reincarnation’; to which she responded, incredibly: “So you’re telling me that you were Jesus in a previous life?” (thereby validating the initial impression I had received that ‘she recognizes you’).

To which—“What do you say to something like that?” as Cypher says in The Matrix—I responded by saying: “Well............yes, but... [this is not the way this conversation was supposed to have gone] ...I have a manuscript that you might like to read.” (Which was the manuscript that I had given several copies of to The Jesus Seminar the previous October.)

A few days later, having mustered up enough courage to ask her out for a date—of course, at that time, I had no romantic interest in her at all; my only interest was to have a discussion with someone who was interested in things philosophical; which did not appear to be of any particular interest to you at that time—I asked her whether she would like to go out for a pizza and discuss the manuscript. But, rather than giving me an answer or her phone number, she told me to look up her phone number in the phone book under her husband’s name...

Whereupon I discovered that she lived on Tomahawk Trail.

(And, because I had received a memory of a previous life in which my skull had been split by a tomahawk as I was lying awake on my back in an Indian tent, already knowing with certainty that someone was coming to kill me, I immediately became quite intensely interested about precisely what what kind of a relationship she had with her husband and whether she considered him to be capable of jealous violence.)

In any case, we set up a provisional date over the phone; but, in the next conversation that we had in the NICU, she apologized, saying that she had been “unable to find a baby-sitter”. And, at the mention of that term, an entirely new dimension of reality opened...

Not only because I also knew that she had lied to me (she had not even tried to find a baby-sitter). But also, because, although I was peripherally aware that she had recently separated from her husband, I was completely unaware that there were any children involved.

My immediate reaction was to become intensely depressed; not because I had any romantic interest in her at the time, but only because I considered it highly unlikely that she would have sufficient time or interest to pay attention to what I had to say while also having the responsibilities of a single mother.

And, as you may also recall, it was probably the next day that I told you of how intensely sad I was at losing what I thought, at the time, would be the only opportunity that I would ever have of talking with her; knowing that, quite simply, I lacked the courage to ever ask her out for a date again. And you comforted me with your arm around my shoulder and your kisses; clearly not worried—nor did you have any reason to be—that Elizabeth was in any way a threat to our relationship; brightly suggesting that she would be “able to find a baby-sitter the next time”. (In the almost 5 years of our relationship, it had been clearly demonstrated that I would not lie to you; even when you found a woman’s ear ring on my couch, and my explanation was that the only way it could have got there was because I had taken my clothes directly out of the clothes dryer in the apartment complex and laid them on the couch. And you believed me.)

And, later that evening, I received a memory of when I knew both you and Elizabeth in a previous life:

A young man (the apostle John-->Robin) had come running across a wheat field to tell me that John the Baptist-->Elizabeth had been murdered (Elizabeth being Mohammed, John the Baptist and Elijah “raised from the dead”); with regards to which, after an echo of Chapter 11, verse 45 of the Book of Daniel: “...there lies a land that I once lived in...”: );

and I was crying, and you were comforting me with your arm around my shoulder; just like you had just been comforting me about my sorrow at the difficulties in my relationship with Elizabeth.

And, confirming the memory that I had received about Mary in Kokomo being the daughter of Jairus in one of her previous lives; this memory confirmed that you had been Mary, the companion of Jesus, in that previous life...

A memory which our relationship simply could not withstand; but shortly after which I much more clearly understood why her Polish parents [her grand-father’s nickname was “greenie” (Zielinski); green being the color pertaining to the Fourth Church in the Revelation of John, or the heart ‘chakra’the Church of the Revelation of “the resurrection”—as well as the last name of the author of a book on the Albigensian Crusade published in 1954)] gave her the Hebrew name “Eliza beth”.

And, while I also knew, before I married Elizabeth, that she was Sarah in a previous life, it was not for another several months that I received a specific memory that you were Hagar; the song In Too Deep (by a group calling itself, interestingly enough, Genesis) fairly accurately describing what Abraham experienced—and as is related in Genesis 21:14—after he was Commanded by God to “Grant Sarah all that she asks of you...”

And, while most of this information is, of course, new to you; there is also a lot of other information about what happened before we met that I never really had the opportunity to explain to you:

We first met in probably October, 1982 after we were both hired to work in food preparation at the newly-opening Jennys Cafeteria; then at the southeast corner of Ireland Road and U.S. 31 in South Bend.

And I was immediately drawn to you.

I asked you your name and, quite confidently (and with a beauty that I still remember as being striking), you brightly replied “Danielle”; and I replied by telling you that “Dan i el” (giving you the correct Hebrew pronunciation, which was quite close to the way that you pronounced your name) means “God will Judge His people”.

And I told you that my name is Michael.

But you could not possibly have known at the time—nor did I ever really get the opportunity to explain to you completely—precisely how significant your name was to me; how important it was for me to have met you when I did...

Or that, from the instant that I first met you, I really had no choice at all but to fall desperately in love with you; your body and your soul instantly becoming not only precious; but, also, sacred to me.

But, in order to understand why I fell in love with you so easily; why, sorrowfully and tragically, our relationship ended the way that it did—and, especially, the quite seriously stupid and embarrassing mistakes that I made with you long after our relationship ended—it is important for you to understand not only the Revelations and Prophecies that I received in the years before meeting you (about which, regrettably, I could tell you nothing at the time); but, also, at least some of what I was required to do in order to warn the people of this country and this civilization of those Revelations and Prophecies.

And, while the words of Jesus in the Thanksgiving Hymns of the Dead Sea Scrolls are painfully descriptive of the intense stupidity, embarrassment and shame that I feel whenever I remember the mistakes that I made with you (they are among the greatest regrets that I have of this life):

What shall a man say
     concerning his sin?
And how shall he plead
    concerning his iniquities?
And how shall he reply
    to righteous judgement?
For Thine, O God of Knowledge,
    are all righteous deeds
    and the counsel of truth;
but to the sons of men is the work of iniquity
    and deeds of deceit.”

I must also say that, if you are determined to hold on to the sorrow, resentment and anger that you have towards me, even after some 31 years—all of it eminently justified, of course, because of what I could not tell you at the time—you might as well stop reading now.

But, if you desire to understand just a little more about why things happened the way that they did; in many ways precisely like in the following video:

Teardrops On My Guitar:

—all of which was part of the Creator’s plan that the Truth will be made known to those who survive the coming “time of trouble” (or it would not have happened in the first place)—I urge you to continue reading very carefully; although much of what follows you will not be able to understand.

After receiving the Vision of the “Son of man” in December, 1974 (about which more later), I then received, in January, 1975, a Vision of the coming “time of trouble such as never was since there was a nation” Prophesied in Chapter 12, verse 1 of the Book of Daniel; a Vision of the destruction that will befall not only the United States, but this entire planet through droughts, famines, military conflicts, earthquakes, tidal waves and societal breakdown; a Vision which suggested to me the loss of at least tens or hundreds of millions of human lives—lives for which I would be responsible if I did not do everything in my power to warn this civilization of the Prophecies and the Revelations that I received.

But, despite the fact that the “time of trouble” is mentioned in the book of the Jewish prophet, Daniel, I did not immediately receive any specific Prophecies about Israel that in any way suggested that I had to pay any particular attention to the military or political situation in the Middle East with regards to Israel; for which reason I simply ignored all political and military news from the Middle East as being completely irrelevant to the Revelations and the Prophecies that I had specifically received.

So I spent most of my time over the next three years warning people in the United States of the Prophecies I received of the destruction that the United States will suffer; while, at the same time, focusing on the understanding of the Knowledge Revealed through the Vision of the “Son of man” and the Revelation of “the resurrection” (including the Revelation of the memories of previous lives) that I received in December, 1975; my first letters being sent, by certified mail, return receipts requested and received, to the Chairman of the Theology Department and the President of Notre Dame University in April of 1977; to which, of course, I never received any replies...

Over the next two years.

Then, in May and June of 1978, as I recall, there was a television series about the Holocaust on ABC; which gave me the idea that I should probably be contacting the local rabbis to discuss their views on the Doctrine of “the resurrection” as a Doctrine of ‘Rebirth’ and the Revelation of the memories of previous lives; shortly thereafter deciding to send some 700 letters to the rabbis in the United States—of which precisely 34 were stamped “Return To Sender”; meaning that I had contacted 666 rabbis; and, with regards to which, once again, I never received a reply.

Nevertheless, I continued random, periodic discussions with a local Orthodox rabbi, Alan Kupperman, at the Sinai Synagogue, over approximately the next four years—always arriving unannounced at his office (since I did not want to give him the opportunity to either prepare for me or avoid me); but, even after several hours of discussions with him over that four years, I was simply unable to convince him either that I had received any Prophecies at all (and, at one point, I questioned him what he thought my motivation would be if I were not telling him the Truth; to which he had no reply), or that “the resurrection” is a Doctrine of ‘Rebirth’ (again, for what reason would I lie to him?). But, no matter what argument I presented, he always had a quick and clever retort; except, in one instance, when he actually admitted that someone in the Talmud had once made a reference to having lived more than one life; which, however, he simply disregarded as having no particular doctrinal significance.

Even worse, however, he insisted that the Book of Daniel had not even been included in the Prophets in the first place, but merely in the Writings; and for a very good reason: it was not officially considered by the rabbis to consist of Revelations or Prophecies at all; meaning that the fact that the name on my birth certificate is Michael was of absolutely no significance to him. (In fact, he was most probably thinking more along the lines of a ‘delusion of grandeur’; with regards to which, however, I seriously believed that I could convince him otherwise if I merely spent enough time talking with him; thereby demonstrating how otherwise ‘normal’ I was; which, however, was more or less... well, delusional.)

Then, after reading the Quran for the first time—in which the ‘apostle Michael is mentioned in Sura 2:98—in 1978, I decided that I should go to Israel to try to get an impression of whether the religious officials there would be any more amenable to the Revelations and Prophecies that I received than were the Christian and Jewish religious officials in the United States; then flying to Israel in February, 1979; and quickly discovering—I talked to Amin Abuleil, a professor of Islamic theology at Bir Zeit University in Ramallahthat they were no more open to what I was saying than were the religious officials in the United States.

On March 26, 1979, a few weeks after I returned to the United States, the Camp David Agreement was signed in Washington, D.C.; clearly demonstrating to me that, from then on, I would also have to pay attention to the political-military situation with regards to Israel, the Palestinians, and the surrounding Arab countries in the Middle East. And, in August, 1979, I received a specific Prophecy involving a future ‘peace’ agreement which will precede a large-scale military conflict in the Middle East; which I then conveyed in letters to Theodore Hesburgh and David Burrell at the University of Notre Dame in early September, 1979; to which, of course, I still received no reply.

And, over the next several months, I mailed letters to thousands more Jewish and Christian religious officials and hundreds of media officials in the United States, informing them of that Prophecy and some of the other Revelations I received; but with regards to which no one expressed any real interest.

Then, in early to mid 1980, as I recall, I received a dream:

I was in a race with hundreds or thousands of other people.

Periodically, people would fall out of the race—meaning that they had died; and then they would re-enter the race, as children growing into adults, in their next life, after they had been ‘raised from the dead’; then they would die again, and then re-enter the race again in their next life.

And, when I looked over to one side, on the other side of the people who were running, there was what appeared to be a teller under a sign written in Hebrew, where dozens of people were standing in line.

And, when I questioned what that was, I was informed that those people were being paid for running in the race...

Under a sign written in Hebrew (which I recognized, but could not read, from my visit to Israel).

And it was on the basis of that dream that I then decided that I should become at least minimally acquainted with the Hebrew language.

And, in a conversation that I had a short while later, R. Kupperman told me that an Israeli by the name of Sholom Shamai (meaning “the Peace of heaven”)—an Iraqi Jew and IDF paratrooper during the ‘67 war—was going to be teaching a Hebrew course at the South Bend Jewish Federation in the fall (of 1980); shortly after which I signed up; and then took three Hebrew courses over the next three semesters (which, of course, is the reason why I could explain to you the meaning of your name when I first met you).

Then, in October, 1981, I began sending 3 60 minute cassette tapes—Sholom Shamai helped me address the mailers in cursive Hebrew—approximately a week apart, to each of 7 Schools (of Torah) for Women in Israel; explaining in excruciating detail the Doctrine of “the resurrection” as a Doctrine of ‘Rebirth’; the Revelation of the Memory of Creation, the Revelation of the Memory of ‘the Fall’, and the Revelation of the memories of previous lives; and some of the doctrinal and personal rather than political implications of those Revelations; to which I received only one—but quite positive—reply from a Shoshana Emmanuel, a teacher at the Neve Yerushalayim School for Women, requesting additional tapes; to which I replied by giving her permission to make as many additional tapes as she desired from the tapes that I sent her.

And, in the meantime, I continued my research on the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Nag Hammadi Codices, and the Eastern and Western religions at the Notre Dame library; continued mailing hundreds or thousands of letters to religious and media officials in the United States; and, then, in the Spring or Summer of 1982, took an Amtrak train to a conference on the ‘Messiah’ at Columbia University (at which, disgustingly, I learned virtually nothing).

But, in order to understand what happened next—that is, during the month immediately before I met you—it is important to understand more about the Vision of the “Son of man” that I received on December 1, 1974:

I graduated from Purdue University on June 13, 1971.

And, to make a very long and complicated story short, I received the Vision of the “Son of man”—referred to by Jesus in the Thanksgiving Hymns of the Dead Sea Scrolls as the “vision of knowledge”—precisely 1267 days later; that is, at precisely 9 P.M. December 1, 1974; which, in turn, was precisely, to the hour, days after I experienced a Miraculous healing of a back injury (at 9 A.M. on November 28, 1974)—which I had received in late October, 1972, while working in the Physical Therapy department at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Kokomo—simultaneously with the receiving of the Vision described in Towards A New Paradigm of Consciousness.

And, if you read the 11th Chapter of the Revelation of John very carefully, you will see that the numbers “1260 days” and “3½ days” are featured prominently.

And it is at this point that things really begin to get complicated.

The last seven days of the 1267 days from June 13, 1971 to December 1, 1974 were split into 2 segments of 3½ days each; that is, a segment of “3½ days” before my back injury was healed and a segment of “3½ days” after my back injury was healed; the first “3½ days” signifying time going in a forward direction; and, to the extent that the Vision of the “Son of man” is to be understood as a time-reversal to the origin of the physical Creation, the next “3½ days” signifying time going in a time-reversed direction (and, meanwhile, the Revelation of the Memory of Creation and ‘the Fall’ is also to be understood as a time-reversal; that is, a time-reversal to the origin of the ‘fallen’ consciousness itself in duality); and therefore, that, for the sake of Revealed Truth, the 1267 days in real time is to be understood as “1260 days” + “3½ days” - “3½ days”=“1260 days”; a number that refers to the ‘fallen’ consciousness; which is also referred to, symbolically, as “Egypt” in Chapter 11, verse 8 of the Revelation of John.

At which point another order of complexity is introduced because of another Prophecy I received.

As previously stated, in August, 1979, I received a Prophecy of a ‘peace’ agreement between Israel and Egypt that would lead to a large-scale military confrontation; the Camp David Accords between Israel and Egypt, however, already having been signed in March, 1979. So it quickly became clear to me that what was being referred to in that Prophecy is an even more comprehensive effort to achieve a resolution of the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians in a future ‘peace’ agreement in which Egypt and Israel will be involved.

And, because the numbers “3½ days” and “1260 days” in the Revelation of John had already been fulfilled with such extreme, stunning, and Miraculous precision; I very quickly came (or jumped) to the conclusion that, because of the parallelism of the symbolism with regards to “Egypt”, the next, more comprehensive ‘peace’ agreement between Israel and Egypt would be announced at precisely 1260 or 1267 days after March 26, 1979 ; that is, around September 6th or 13th 1982; which, of course, was approximately one month before I met you.

So, shortly after the signing of the Camp David Accords, I began to count down the days in my diary over the next few years to what I was becoming increasingly certain would be the fulfillment of the Prophecy of August, 1979...

Because, in the mean time, the events in the Middle East appeared to be escalating in such a way as to specifically validate that interpretation; thereby, to my understanding, ensuring with some certainty a near-term fulfillment of that Prophecy:

In June of 1982, “Operation Peace for Galilee”—another word for which is “war”—broke out between Israel and Lebanon; some important aspects of which at least echoed some of the crucially important elements of the Prophecy of August, 1979; to which I responded by collecting the names of some 1330 rabbis in the United States; addressing as many envelopes; affixing stamps to as many envelopes; obtaining as many copies of the Prophecy of 1979 (but making no mention of my expectation that it would soon be fulfilled); and writing a letter with a date of early September on which I mailed the letters...

Because, almost as if it was a final confirmation, it was announced, over the Summer of 1982, that the Arab League would discuss its efforts to establish a ‘peace’ agreement between Israel and the Palestinians at the Arab League Conference...

...In early September...

The final declaration of which was issued on September 10, 1982; which, very closely, paralleled the stunning precision of the “1260 days” and the “3½ days” with regards to my receiving of the Vision of the “Son of man”.

But then nothing happened.


The psychological consequences of which were not merely severe, not merely devastating, but utterly catastrophic; similar to the failure of my relationship with Susan, the receiving of the memories of my previous lives during my efforts to pursue a relationship with Debbie Lamb...

And, I suspect, not unlike the trauma that you must have experienced 5 years later when our relationship was so brutally terminated because of the memory I received of Elizabeth having been John the Baptist.

So, that was the psychological condition I was in when I met you in October, 1982: desperately desperate to receive any indication at all that, during this life, the righteous will actually be rewarded in this world, that the wicked will actually be punished in this world; and, no less importantly, that I will live to see it...

In other words, that God will, in fact, “Judge His people...”

And, while the memory of Elizabeth being John the Baptist completely destroyed our relationship; and I quickly understood that, at the same time, God had Revealed that memory to me because Elizabeth was to be my wife; I also very quickly understood that she was Sarah; at which point I simultaneously received the very strong impression that you were Hagar; although I did not receive any specific memory of that until several months later; a memory of what is described in Genesis 21:14—and also described in the lyrics of the song In Too Deep by a group known, interestingly enough, as Genesiswhich resulted from the fact that Abraham had been Commanded by God to “grant Sarah all that she asks of you...”

One of the consequence of which was that, despite the fact that, for the first time during our entire 5 year relationship, I began to actively consider asking you to marry me—something that I never had the freedom to even consider before—but only on the condition that I first marry Elizabeth; which, of course, was completely beyond anything that you could ever possibly accept...

Much of which was due to the fact that, during almost our entire relationship, I never explained to you the Revelations and Prophecies I received; I never told you of my identity in that previous life; and I never told you what I did over the six years before meeting you; or, especially, about the excruciatingly unbearable responsibility I have for saving as many lives as possible.

Our relationship was, instead, a refuge and a shelter from such horrors, as well as what I suffered on a daily and relentlessly continuing basis from the hundreds and thousands of people who, viciously, arrogantly and self-righteously, rejected the Revelations and Prophecies I sent them; and then accused me of all manner of evil and insanity without ever giving me the opportunity to respond to such accusations.

But, in fact, there was, quite simply, no escape from the reality that was Revealed to me in 1974, 1975, 1976 and 1979.

And, while I fell in love with you from the very instant that you told me your name, the questions that emerged almost immediately were:

1) Could I ever tell you about who I was in my previous life?; and,

2) How many of these Revelations and Prophecies—and how much of what I had been doing since 1976 to inform others of these Revelations and Prophecies—could I ever share with you?

And the immediate answer to the first question was: “Of course not.” (which, however, I was ultimately required to violate because of the memory I received about Elizabeth); while the immediate answer to the second question was: “Very little, if any of it.” (something that I ultimately violated to a much lesser degree.)

In other words, while, some five years later, the memory of Elizabeth being John the Baptist completely destroyed our relationship—because you then had to know my identity as well; the Revelations and Prophecies that brought us together in the first place in 1982 simultaneously prevented me from being completely honest with you; something over which I simply had no control.

The Visions that I received in January, 1975 and December, 1976; and the Prophecy that I received in August, 1979, are utterly horrifying Visions and Prophecies of a destruction and loss of human life far beyond human comprehension; after which Vision, in January, 1975, the blood left my face and I briefly lost consciousness.

So I instantly understood that, on the contrary, it was my responsibility to protect you from such information; while, at the same time, doing everything I could possibly do to at least diminish that loss of life; and, at the same time, if possible, preserve our own lives from the coming destruction.

And it was because of those considerations—and the images that I carried around with me, every waking hour and sometimes in my dreams, of an almost infinite destruction of this civilization—that I simply could not form any image at all of a future after the Prophecies are fulfilled; I simply could not form any image at all of a world in which it would be even possible for me to marry you.

For our entire relationship until I met Elizabeth, I simply assumed that, if the Prophecies were to be fulfilled during this lifetime, you would “always be there” and we would simply stay together for the rest of our lives.

And, other than a number of exceptionally stupid and embarrassing mistakes that I made over the next several years, which I would prefer never to remember—all of which, you could not possibly have known, were motivated by a desperate worry that you and your loved ones will lose your very lives in the destruction that I had Prophesied for those 30 years—this is how our relationship ended in 1987.

(Meanwhile, another of the consequences of receiving the memory that you were Hagar was that, over the next 30 years, I easily had 15 dreams about you; dreams in which I told you how much I love you, dreams in which I was working at the hospital and we planned to meet later, dreams in which I was talking with your mother before we went out on a date, dreams in which I told you how sorry I am for the mistakes that I made; and dreams in which, sometimes, you even told me that you still love me too; dreams which, in sorrow, I had no choice but to share with Elizabeth; and she comforted me like you once comforted me about the difficulties in my relationship with her.)

There is, however, one other incident that I need to explain to you in order to demonstrate more clearly that it was the will of God that we meet again in this life and that I be given these memories of who you were in your previous lives—the ultimate consequences of which, however, are yet to be seen:

To the best of my recollection, it was early February, 2006.

Several weeks earlier, I bought tickets, but then went alone, to the Moody Blues concert that was to be held later that month in South Bend.

I had not seen you for some 19 years.

But, as the day for the concert drew closer, it was more and more forcefully impressed upon me that I would see you there; just as I previously received the very strong impression that Elizabeth ‘recognizes me’ before she recognized me; and then received the very strong impression that you are Hagar, before I received the memory that you are Hagar...

But with regards to which I was so completely terrified—because of the mistakes that I made with you previously—that I almost decided not to go to the concert at all; then finally deciding that I had to know whether or not that impression was accurate.

I waited outside until the very last minute, since I certainly did not want to see you while I was going into the concert; and finally, without ever looking up, I took my seat somewhere in the first few rows of the upper balcony.

Immediately, I had received the very distinct impression that you were sitting with your husband in the top rows of the upper balcony to the left of me; an impression that was periodically reinforced throughout the concert; my favorite songs of the Moody Blues, which always remind me of you, being:

Your Wildest Dreams: and

I Know You
re Out There Somewhere:

And, by the time the concert was over, I still did not know whether the impression that I received was accurate; so I was determined to wait until the very last minute to leave. And then, at the very last minute—perhaps, by then, you recognized me—you walked with your husband down the aisle to the left of me and then down the stairs, without ever looking at me...

And, it was on the basis of that experience that, in the Spring of 2008, I asked Elizabeth to take you a copy of
Jesus and “the Resurrection”—the Secret Teaching; which, however, like Robin, you refused to accept.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth tells me that Ishmael-->the apostle Peter-->Cindy—she was your son when you were Hagar; and with whom I have always had a very close and positive friendship, as especially represented at time 3:33-33:35 of:

was very excited to receive a copy of my book since I previously discussed with her some of my research on the Dead Sea Scrolls.

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