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Tuesday, October 27, 2015

And Then Jesus Said...

Mary: “Hi, honey, how was your day?” (through clenched teeth)

Jesus: “Hi, honey...No kiss? Same old same old. Changed water into wine, walked on water, multiplied loaves and fishes, wrote more of the Thanksgiving Hymns, explained to the Sadducees how stupid the Pharisees are about “the resurrection”...but still they didn’t understand...

What?...

What?”

Mary: “So, what did I tell you before you left today?”

Jesus: “Jeez, I can’t remember...”

Mary: “It was a simple request. I asked you to please pick me up some more linen and thread at the market...”

Jesus: “Oh, that’s right...I guess I just forgot.”

Mary: Of course you did. You have more ‘important’ things to do. And that robe that I just washed the day before yesterday?...it has a wine stain on it...again...it should have been placed in the pile of dirty laundry...in order that I would see it...you know...before I did the laundry? And when was the last time you had a haircut? I don’t care how many Miracles you perform, you still have to look presentable. Do you actually think people are going to believe you when you look like some kind of a vagabond?”

And Jesus said  “You know where it says in the Gospel of Philip that I used to kiss you often on your mouth?

That wont be today...

Mary: 
Guaranteed.

Jesus: 
Love you, honey. If it weren’t for you I don’t know how I would talk to the idiot Pharisees and Sadduceess.”

Michael (Chapter 12, verse 1 of the Book of Daniel, Sura 2, verse 98 of the Quran, Column XVII of the Scroll of the War of the Sons of Light & Chapter 3, verse 12 of the Revelation of John)

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